i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
