fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
