I didn't shave. On purpose
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
