i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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