I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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