did you get engaged???
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
