And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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