so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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