I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
