STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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