ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
