if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
