I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize