I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
