I CAN MOONWALK!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
