If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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