I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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