epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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