dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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