I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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