i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize