no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
