Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
