i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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