does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
