So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
