White coat. Heels.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
you made out with another girl for some wings
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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