hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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