do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
