So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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