This is not my ceiling
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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