either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
