That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Barsexuality is the new black.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
