idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
A bitchslap is in order.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize