I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
