the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
