wakey wakey hands off snakey
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
