she kept yelling 'call me bella'
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
