I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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