There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
