420 ftw
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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