Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
