I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
