Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
