I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
