didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
