Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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