I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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