My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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