lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
