the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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