ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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