So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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