Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
