dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
